Phlebotomist

~Posted by Ang

I think when I first used this word around my dad, his response was, "Gesundheit!"

In case this was also your reaction, what it means is one who practices/studies phlebotomy, which is, according to Merriam-Webster Online, "the letting of blood for transfusion, diagnosis, or experiment, and especially formerly in the treatment of disease."

For the faint of heart at the mention of the word "blood," you may want to stop reading here, if you haven't already, though I promise not to go into too much detail. :-)

I've had many opportunities over the past few years to interact with phlebotomists. To tell you the truth, the first time I actually realized that that was the term properly applied to the person drawing all those vials of blood from my arm was about 6 months ago. Unfortunately for me, my phlebotomist happened to be of a foreign descent and culture, I soon thereafter discovered, that apparently prides itself on its privacy and restraint from personal divulgence when conversing with strangers. This I didn't know, first of all, because I was ignorant of my phlebotomist's nationality and, second, because once informed of it I was ignorant of the minutiae of that nationality's customs. Of both she spared little time in acquainting me, thus divulging perhaps more of herself than she must have intended in so brief a conversation. The story goes thus...

I was sitting in the chair waiting as my phlebotomist prepped my arm for a blood draw --rubber band around the arm, alcohol, cotton swab, you know the drill. And while I waited I amused myself by looking around the small exam room, taking note of anything that might be somewhat useful or educational for future reference. It was then I spotted it: the placard on the wall beside the door which stated in big bold letters something to the effect of:

Please let your phlebotomist know if you have any questions about your treatment.

"Aha," I thought. "So that's what they're called!" Wanting to be sure of the conclusion I had drawn, having put 2 and 2 together, I decided to ask, especially as it was within the realm of what the placard told me to do. So partially in the interest of making small talk (which I personally find helpful and relaxing in anticipation of the needle about to be stuck in my arm) but mostly hoping to gain information that might be useful later on, I said, "Oh, so is that what you're called --you're a phlebotomist?" Then, in broken English came her reply, and because it was in broken English and therefore a little difficult to follow, I'll just paraphrase the basics here: "I'm from the Czech Republic, and we don't talk about ourselves the way Americans do, always talking about what they do, where they go...we like to keep these things to ourselves."

In my head I'm going, "WOAH, Nelly! What does this woman think I'm asking her?!" Out loud, I said, "Oh, I'm sorry, I was only asking because it says up there on the wall..." In my head I'm going, "You're a PHLEBOTOMIST!! You draw blood for a living. It says that ON THE WALL!! I'm just a halfway curious person asking for confirmation!" More uncharitably, I must confess I was also thinking, "Maybe you should return to your homeland if you can't handle this trifling a discussion with us Americans." Needless to say, the conversation was pretty much at an end before it had even begun.

I've since been a little more guarded in my efforts at conversation with my phlebotomists. You never know who might be sticking your arm that day. Hence, you can never be too careful. Thankfully, my previous run-in with the Czech did not affect her job performance, and I endured no permanent physical damage. However, I have since found most of my phlebotomists to be friendly, talkative sort of people --most of them American, I have to admit--and they actually seem to enjoy their patients and the conversations that arise during the course of their blood-letting, as it were. ;-)

In fact, the last three I've encountered have been such kind souls who have not only initiated conversation but have also kept my mind more happily preoccupied with light subjects such as the beauty and fun of springtime, the hilarious antics of toddlers, and, of course, the idiosyncratic habits of doctors and their penchant for flooding labs with their patients. Of the latter subject, the phlebotomist usually smiles, and I can't help but interject: "At least they're keeping you in business, right?"

Yup, it's funny the things you learn in the college of life.