Big Shout

My car battery died on Tuesday. (sounds of sympathy from the peanut gallery)

No big deal, thought Mr. Self-Sufficient. I'll save a few bucks, buy the battery from Costco, and replace it myself. Besides, my faithful dad had given me clear and helpful instructions to protect me from zapping myself.

Negative wires - off. Yes, half-way there!

Positive wires - twist, turn, yank, pull, douse with WD-40, cover with Dr. Pepper, lather in Baking Soda, twist, pull, hammer, mangle the head of the bolt, mumble curses under my breath, give up.

Not to be deterred from victory, I come back the next night to try again. Another hour later, I'm still in the same spot. Although this time, I was so desperate that I cut the sheathing off the contacts, in hopes that it would help.

Then comes Saturday - we have friends from TN in town, and I ask the guy to help me out. We twist, turn, yank, pull. He has a dislocated shoulder, but that doesn't stop him from putting his might into it. Lo and behold, his dueling channel locks manage to yank the wires and the entire terminal out of the old battery. Meaning: the battery is free, but we still have to get the bolt out of the terminal.

Solution - sheer destruction. Hammer and flat-head screwdriver - chip away at the metal which has melted together and prevents any loosening of the bolt. Humans: 1, Vehicle: 0 !!

In goes new battery, crank 'er up, and better than new. Lesson learned? Let Auto Zone replace your battery for free.