A brief history...

...of modern man.

Well, more like- a brief recount of our travels over Easter weekend. First, I'll state that we decided not to fly standby so that we could be assured of our schedule. Seeing as how United provides the only non-stop to/from Memphis, we chose their services (although our "to" flight was not non-stop, but that's an even longer story).

Be warned. This is long, but here goes:

Friday
7:00am- get out of the shower for a 10am departure.
7:01am- get a phone call that I've been rebooked on a later flight out of Chicago. After listening to the message, I realize that our morning flight to Chicago was delayed by 90 minutes.
7:20am- I call United to ask them to rebook us on the non-stop, seeing as how they were rebooking us anyway.
7:25am- United says, "We can't rebook you on the non-stop, because it takes off after your rebooked flight."
7:26am- Danny says, "I'm flying with a pregnant woman who really shouldn't be in the air that long, can't you put us on the non-stop?"
7:27am- United says, "How many months pregnant?"
7:27:30am- Danny says, "7 1/2 months"
7:27:45am- United, "Is she visibly pregnant?"

** Timeout **

Now, I was speaking with a lady, and maybe she has never been pregnant herself, but surely she knows someone who has been pregnant in the past. I would think she'd realize that if someone is 7 1/2 months pregnant and you can't tell, something's amiss....

** End of Timeout **

7:27:52am- Danny, "Yes, you can defintely tell"
7:28am- United, "Hold on, let me see"
7:32am- United, "Okay, we can make an exception."

So we're good to go. A 4:15pm departure, a nice leisurely morning at home. Back to the timeline-

2:00pm- we get to the airport very early, just in case there are any hiccups with the rebooking, and because Dulles can get busy in the afternoons.
2:30pm- we're at our gate- that was easy.
2:33pm- I realize there's a message near the Memphis flight. Flight delayed
5:15pm- A full hour late, we finally depart.
6:3opm, Central Time- We arrive finally in Memphis.

Insert- nice weekend with in-laws.

Sunday
3pm- Leave for airport for 5:10pm departure.
4pm- Arrive and check in at airport. Almost as a foreshadow of things to come, I say, "Glad we're not going to Chicago," since the two Chicago flights were delayed.
4:15pm- At gate, we realize that Memphis flight is delayed 3o minutes
ETD (estimated time of departure)- 5:40pm
4:45pm- Announcement that our plane is coming from Chicago and hasn't left yet
5:10pm- Plane has left Chicago
ETD- 7:10pm (2 hours late)
7:00pm- Plane arrives from Chicago
7:15pm- Pilots walk off plane and disappear
7:25pm- Announcement that the plane has "completely shut down" and they are trying to "reboot the system"
7:45pm- They cannot fix the problem. They are calling a mechanic
ETD- Sometime before my child is born
8:30pm- Mechanic arrives
9pm- Can't fix problem. We're assured that they will leave any time of the night or morning, as long as the plane is fixed. Apparently (they tell us), all other flights to Dulles the next couple of days are oversold.
10pm- Can't fix problem
11pm- Can't fix problem

**Timeout**

By now, we know some of our fellow passengers better than we ever wanted to know them. We're all super frustrated, but as one person remarked, it was the nicest group of people that had ever been sitting in an airport for 7 hours. The worst part was, the Memphis airport basically shuts down at 7pm, and "security" literally shuts down at 9pm. No food, no vending machines, can't leave the secure area. We were truly stuck.

**End Timeout**

11:05pm- United tells us our bags are on carousel #2. No one had officially canceled the flight yet.
11:10pm- United cancels the flight.
11:30pm- I rebook us through Atlanta- rationale being I wanted to at least get half-way home, and could stay with my fam in Atlanta if needed. We leave the next morning at 10:15am (I forgot to ask for first class!).

Monday
9am- Arrive at Memphis airport
10:15am- Delta flight leaves on time
12:25pm- Delta flight arrives on time
1:59pm- Delta flight leaves on time
3:30pm- Delta flight arrives 20 minutes early, although we end up sitting for those 20 minutes waiting for our gate to open up....

So, who do you think I'm more inclined to fly with next time... =)